The cost-splitting conversation nobody wants to have
All of you have come to an agreement about the gathering of umrah. Excitement everywhere. Then somebody asks, "Who pays for what?
Silence.
Money discussions amongst adult siblings, parents, in-laws are uncomfortable. But when they are not, it is worse — resentment when the trip is over. Sort it out beforehand!
This guide includes three viable cost split models, currency conversion truths and how to then keep track of it all in a fair manner.
Why diaspora reunion Umrah cost-splitting is unique
It requires more of an effort than a family vacation in one country is due to:
• Three currencies: GBP, USD and BDT all have different purchasing power
• Three income categories: parents in the UK and in the US working earn more (in USD) than working parents in BD.
• Three trip costs: UK flights are more expensive than BD flights to Saudi.
• Different expectations: UK/US adults would like 4-5 star; BD parents might be satisfied with 3-star
• Filial Responsibility: In the Bangladeshi culture, the adult children want to pay for their elderly parents.
All of this makes it difficult to apply the simple “everyone pays the same” principle.
The three cost-split models that work
Model 1: Equal per-person
The total cost of the pilgrimage / number of pilgrims. Equal charge for all.
Works when:
• They all have the same number of vacation days.• There is no difference in pay for all adults.
• The family consists primarily of adult siblings (no elderly parents).
• Simple fairness is the number one priority.
Doesn't work when:
• The elderly parents are not earning.
• There were significant differences in incomes between the UK and US families and BD families.
• One family unit is more responsible for the planning process
Model 2: Income-weighted (UK/US covers more)
UK and US family members contribute additional funds to support BD parents and financially straitened BD family members.
Common ratios:
• UK/US working adults: 1.5x or 2x base
• BD adult children: 1x base
• BD elderly parents: 0.5x or fully covered by adult children
Works when:
• There are significant disparities in income.
• There is a cultural norm of supporting elderly parents
• Adult children would like to give the trip to their parents.
Model 3: Adult children cover elderly parents, otherwise equal
Cost of travel is shared equally between adult children in the UK/US/BD. Elderly BD parents are blessed with their grown children
Works when:
• What an opportunity to give parents a "gift" trip.
• Adult siblings willing to split parents' cost
• In the Bangladeshi culture it is considered as a filial duty by family (very common)
How a UK + US + BD family split costs (composite)
The Khan family. 8 people total for an April 2027 reunion:
• UK family: Adult son Imran (38) + wife (36) + 2 kids (12, 8) = 4 in London
• US family: Adult daughter Reema (35) = 1 in Chicago
• BD family: Father (70) + mother (66) + adult son Faisal (28, still in Dhaka) = 3 in Sylhet
Total budgeted: £18,500 GBP equivalent.
They selected the Model 3 - Adult children to support their parents:
• Imran (UK): £4,800 (his family of 4) + £2,000 (half of parents' cost) = £6,800
• Reema (US): $2,800 (her own) + $2,500 (half of parents' cost) = $5,300
• Faisal (BD): BDT 1,80,000 (his own — equivalent ~£1,200)
• Parents BD: £0 (gifted by adult children)
Currency totals:
• UK paid: £6,800
• US paid: $5,300 (~£4,200 GBP)
• BD paid: BDT 1,80,000 (~£1,200 GBP)
Total: ~£12,200 — under their £18,500 budget thanks to Saudi tax efficiencies and a group discount.
Currency conversion challenges
If the family pays the agency in GBP, USD, BDT, then the conversion will take place. Costs to watch:
• Bank conversion fee: UK/US banks 1-3% per conversion
• Wise/Revolut for fair rate: 0.5% to 1%, better than banks.
• Local currency dollar/pound transfer: Banks charge 3-5% spread for the dollar/pound exchange.
• Saudi receiving fee: Usually 1% of the receiving agency.
For a £6,000 UK transfer to Saudi, expect to lose 2-3% in conversion (~£150).
Tip: If more than one family member is making separate payments, pool transfers. 3 small transfers are more expensive than 1 large transfer.
Total reunion Umrah cost breakdown
For a typical 7-person UK + US + BD reunion family, 10-day premium tier:
This is for 4 UK + 1 US + 2 BD = 7 people, premium tier. Per-person average: ~£1,970.
For the luxury tier (5-star, under 100m from Haram), add 50%. For economy, subtract 30%.
Shared Google Sheet for cost tracking
Set up a shared sheet with:
Update monthly. Convert to one currency at month-end for accurate comparison. Use Wise or Google Finance for live rates.
Common cost-split disputes (and prevention)
Dispute 1: "I paid the flight, you said you'd cover meals"
Prevention: Fill out the Google Sheet in advance to indicate who is paying what type of payment.
Dispute 2: "Why am I paying for my parents' room when I can't even share with them?"
Prevention: Make a decision on cost-split model prior to booking. Reach an agreement on paying for parent's expenses.
Dispute 3: "I had to add £500 for visa rush — was that supposed to be split?"
Prevention: Record any out-of-the-ordinary expenses in the sheet. Before the final settlement, talk about the family WhatsApp.
Dispute 4: "The Saudi exchange rate moved — I lost £80 on conversion"
Prevention: Determine whether currency loss is collective or personal. Generally, the individual is lighter.
Dispute 5: "Mum and dad's medication cost more than expected"
Prevention: Integrate 10-15% contingency in the elderly health expenditure budget.
When to lock in cost-splits
Best timing:
• 8 months before: First budget discussion. Pick a model.
• 6 months before: Determine split percentages. Document in Sheet.
• 4 months before: First Deposits (to be paid by each family unit)
• 2 months before: Final payments (each unit pays their own share)
• After return: Restabilize any imbalances. Final reconciliation.
Avoid negotiating settlements en route. Make sure to keep the focus on the spiritual journey. Make a reconciliation at home.
When agencies bill in only one currency
Some agencies(particularly BD based) only accept bill in BDT. BTC account owner(s) must receive payment via diaspora family's GBP or USD account.
Option A: Agency converts
This agency pays in GBP/USD and internally converts. In most cases, the agency applied rate is not the best (3-5% loss).
Option B: Pre-convert to BDT
To convert GBP/USD to BDT, use Wise or Revolut, and then transfer it. Saves 1-2% on conversion. More work.
Option C: Agency partners with UK/US payment processor
Tour Solvers or agencies of similar name will accept GBP and USD directly. Best option.
Always ask "Can we pay in GBP/USD or we need to convert in BDT?
How to handle gifts vs costs
Gifts are popular during the period of Umrah in Bangladeshi culture. Brothers giving gifts for their sisters, aunts, in-laws. These ADD to the total but are NOT shared costs.
Don't mix gifts with the reunion cost-split. Each family group purchases their own gifts. Don't divide up gift expenses.**
